


one night only

by RandyRobot



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, really don't know what else to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 15:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20212186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandyRobot/pseuds/RandyRobot
Summary: "I just…" Jon looked away, down at the blanket awkwardly, "I don't want him to know I'm here.""Oh," Martin blushed and looked back at Jon's hand on his shoulder, then down somewhere near his knee, "I… I won't tell him."Jon smiled down at Martin, then looked down at the blanket again, "is it… Is it alright if I join you then?"Martin made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a breath and reached up to awkwardly scratch his chin, "I-yeah, yeah go ahead."





	one night only

Jon sighed heavily and sat up straight in his chair, stretching his neck before relaxing back into a slouch over his desk. It was late. He'd lost track of time doing extra research and occasionally reading a statement to keep him going. He rubbed his eye, momentarily pushing his glasses up onto his forehead before letting them drop back into place. He kept his eyes shut for a long moment before opening them again.

The archives weren't empty. They never were at night. If he tried he could sense the girls sleeping in the tunnels. But he didn't want to try. He knew they were down there, he didn't need to make himself _know_ they were down there. That wasn't what he was feeling now. The archives were somehow less empty than they usually were. He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration and squinted into the middle ground, trying to focus in on what it was.

He blinked in surprise. It was Martin. Martin was still in the archives even though it was well past midnight. Jon swallowed, he hadn't been able to properly feel Martin's presence in weeks now he was just there.

Jon sat up so suddenly his chair scraped the ground and nearly tipped over backwards. He didn't need to make himself know where Martin was. At least, not consciously. The door to his office squeaked as he pulled it open and let it shut behind him as he left. The hallways were dark but he didn't need to turn the lights on to see where he was going. He slowed when he made it to the old storage room. He hadn't realized how fast he'd been moving but he was out of breath when he got to the door. His hand pressed against the old wood, his pinky finger fitting into a groove left by one of the worms that had tried to eat through it so long ago.

Martin was inside. He knew that for certain now he was close. His hand slid slowly down the old wood of the door until his fingertips rested gently on the metal doorknob. For a split second, he was afraid Martin had locked himself inside but a slow turn of his wrist alleviated that fear as the door clicked and moved inward slightly. Jon didn't move for a long moment, listening, trying to see.

He pushed the door open with a soft creak and stood in the threshold. The room was just as he'd remembered it, the bed pushed against the far wall, the bloodstain on the floor from where they'd haphazardly removed the worms from his leg, the small desk where Martin had kept his own tape recorder. The lights were all off and he stepped further inside, letting the door click shut behind him. He took a moment to let his eyes adjust. Martin was laying in the bed with his back to Jon, facing the wall. He was asleep, Jon could tell by the relaxed pattern of his breathing.

After a few seconds, he could see Martin better and Jon stared, taking in the shape of Martin's body. The way it made the blanket wrinkle and bunch over him. The way the baby hairs on the back of his neck curled slightly inward. The broad slope of his pale bare shoulders peeking out from under the blanket. How close he kept his body to the wall when he slept.

How long had it been since he saw Martin in person? How long had it been since he'd stood this close to Martin? Even just in the same room? When was the last time he'd touched Martin? Had he ever physically touched Martin? Of course, he had. Martin had helped get the worms out of his leg in this very room. He was sure he'd touched Martin besides that.

Jon frowned. He felt awful about how he'd treated Martin in the past. When he first became the archivist, he'd hated Martin. And for no real reason. Well, he'd had a reason for disliking him. Martin just hadn't been competent in his job and never seemed to know what he was doing. Jon had thought he was annoying and hadn't even wanted to be around him.

Jon bit the inside of his cheek. He wished he'd spent more time with Martin when he'd had the chance. Before everything went to hell.

Jon suddenly realized he'd been standing there watching Martin sleep for God knows how long. What was he even trying to accomplish being in here? He knew what he wanted but he wasn't sure he'd be able to actually do it. He wasn't sure if Martin would let him.

The floor creaked under his feet as he crossed the room to the bed. Martin didn't stir at the noise and Jon let out a soft, relieved breath. He paused for a moment before kneeling on the bed, his knee sinking into the mattress slightly, and reaching across the bed to touch Martin's bare shoulder. Jon registered how soft Martin's skin was as he gave Martin's shoulder a gentle squeeze. Martin jumped slightly and sucked in air through his teeth.

"Whuh? Mum?" Martin mumbled as he twisted around to look at Jon. Jon froze up and just stared at him. Martin's eyes widened in shock and he blinked a few times, "Jon?"  
Jon let out a shaky breath and managed to compose himself, "what are you still doing here?" He whispered.

"I stayed too late and fell asleep at my desk. Didn't want to go home in the dark after that," Martin grunted as he rolled over to face Jon, "besides, it's safer here. And I actually missed sleeping in here. A lot. No windows."  
"Right," Jon felt his shoulders relax slightly, "I did the same thing, actually. Well, I didn't fall asleep I just lost track of time..."

They were both quiet for a long moment. Martin looked at Jon's hand that was still resting on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and yawned. Jon opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

"Is Peter still here?" He hissed softly. Martin blinked at him a few times.  
"I don't think so. I can't ever really tell for sure unless he wants me to see him. Pretty sure he went home a while ago though," Martin answered in a groggy whisper, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment before opening them again and looking up at Jon, "why?"  
"I just…" Jon looked away, down at the blanket awkwardly, "I don't want him to know I'm here."  
"Oh," Martin blushed and looked back at Jon's hand on his shoulder, then down somewhere near his knee, "I… I won't tell him."

Jon smiled down at Martin, then looked down at the blanket again, "is it… Is it alright if I join you then?"  
Martin made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a breath and reached up to awkwardly scratch his chin, "I-yeah, yeah go ahead."

Jon smiled wider and stood up straight, taking off his shoes and glasses before crawling under the blanket alongside Martin. Martin smiled at him and rolled back over to face the wall. The mattress wasn't the most comfortable but it was warm under the blanket. Jon let out a slow, shuddering breath.

"Are you okay?" Martin asked aloud, making Jon jump slightly at the noise as they'd been conversing entirely in whisperers.  
"How do you mean?"  
"Just in general. I haven't talked to you in a while."  
"Not very good if I'm being honest," Jon sighed, "I'm not used to being… Whatever I am now. I keep knowing what I'm doing isn't right but I don't want to stop doing it. It's like I'm losing my humanity and I can't really bring myself to care."  
"I'm sorry," Martin mumbled into the wall.  
"It's fine," Jon said, "I'm dealing with it."  
"Are you?"  
"Yes."

"Were you watching me sleep?"  
"I-," Jon clenched his jaw, "I guess I was. I'm sorry."  
"I'm not upset," Martin assured him, "it's just- when you first woke me up you looked like…"  
"Your mother?"  
"What? No."  
"Then why'd you say-"  
"I was having a weird dream about my mum," Martin stopped himself from saying more, "that's got nothing to do with it, though."  
"Oh," Jon said, "what did I look like?"  
"It was just for a second but," Martin paused, "you were just a bunch of eyes? I could still see the shape of your face and all that but it was just like there were a bunch of eyes all over you."  
"Oh. Well, that's…"  
"Disconcerting."

"Yes," Jon trailed off again. He stared at the center of Martin's back, his eyes flicking between the handful of moles he could see so clearly despite the lack of light. He was very aware that he was fully dressed but he wasn't about to take off his shirt. He cleared his throat, "how've you been?"  
"I don't know I… it's been a long time since someone touched me. The only person I talk to anymore is Peter and he's weird. He always stands way too close when he talks to me but I don't think he's ever physically touched me. I think I'm used to it at this point," his arm reached across his chest to touch his shoulder, "I can still feel where you grabbed my shoulder..."

"Martin," Jon said, "do you want me to touch you?"  
Martin was quiet for a long moment before whispering, "yes."

Jon let out a breath and scooched toward Martin. Martin twitched slightly when Jon's hand rested on his waist. Jon shut his eyes, enjoying the softness of Martin's bare skin as his arm slowly wrapped around his chest. He pulled himself close, until he was pressed against Martin's back. His legs bent to match how Martin's bent so their bodies fit together like spoons. Martin's breath hitched and he let his hand slide off his shoulder and gently touch against Jon's fingertips. Jon shut his eyes and pressed his cheek against Martin's back.

He was very aware of how much bigger Martin was than him. How much taller and broader he was. How thin Jon's arms were in comparison to Martin's. The gentle curve of Martin's fat belly and the softness of his love handles. The thickness of his fingers as they laced between Jon's skinny ones and squeezed. And he was thankfully aware that Martin was not sleeping totally naked like Jon had been afraid of.

He was also suddenly aware that there was something Martin was hiding from him. He recognized it as whatever he and Peter were planning. What he'd tried and failed to make himself know. A shudder ran up Martin's spine.

"What are you doing?" Martin hissed softly.  
"Spooning you?"  
"No, I know that you're-" Martin twisted his neck, trying to look over his shoulder at Jon. Jon squeezed him a fraction tighter so Martin wouldn't be able to see his face.  
"I didn't mean to."  
"Didn't mean to what? What are you doing?"  
"I know you're keeping something from me," Jon said. Martin went rigid.  
"I…"  
"It's okay," Jon said softly, trying to give Martin's chest a comforting rub while Martin gripped his hand tight.   
"I'm sorry," Martin whispered, "Please, I just- I-"  
Jon clenched his jaw for a moment and squeezed Martin again, "it's okay, Martin. I won't make you tell me."

Martin sniffled and Jon felt his throat go dry. Martin was starting to cry. Jon's mind reeled, trying desperately to find something to say that would make Martin feel better. Martin pulled Jon's hand up to his face, pressing his mouth against the palm of Jon's hand.  
"I'm sorry, Jon I just- I need you to be safe. I need to to be okay please believe me I-I need to do this on my own."  
"Martin, it's okay. I believe you," he squeezed Martin tighter, letting his lips press hard between Martin's shoulder blades and mumbling, "please don't cry."

Martin actually laughed. It was high pitched and manic and lasted barely more than a second. He wiped his eyes and pressed Jon's knuckle against his bottom lip, "I'm fine. I'm just- tired."  
Jon relaxed when he felt Martin's grip on his hand loosen, "I'm probably not helping. Coming in and waking you up like I did."  
"No, it's fine. I'm glad you came," Martin took a quick, shaky breath, "I've missed you so much, Jon."  
"I've missed you too," Jon rubbed his cheek against Martin's back up to his neck and kissed his nape. He felt Martin hiccup when he did. "It would be best if we tried to get some sleep though."  
"You say that like you ever sleep."  
"Shut up, Martin."  
Martin laughed softly and hugged Jon's arm against his chest, "I love you too."

Jon laughed back and sighed, bumping his forehead against Martin's spine. Martin squeezed his hand again and gently rubbed his thumb again it. They lay in comfortable silence for a long moment before Jon gently pushed himself onto his elbow. Martin turned his head as Jon leaned over his shoulder. They looked at each other for a beat before Jon leaned down and gently kissed the corner of Martin's mouth. Martin twisted just enough so they could kiss properly. Their lips pressed together for a moment before Jon pulled away.

"Goodnight, Martin," he whispered softly.  
Martin smiled at him, his cheeks flushing warmly, "goodnight, Jon."

Jon smiled back and let himself sink back into place pressed against Martin's back. He'd have to wake up early, go back to not seeing Martin again before anyone else could know. Maybe Martin would be gone when he woke up. But for now he could lay there and hold Martin close to his chest, feel the contours of his body, the beating of his heart calming down again after Jon kissed him, the slow rhythm of his breathing in the comforting darkness of the old storage room.

Even if it was just for one night.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this I'm having emotions


End file.
